Hurry Hurry & What's your name anyway?

I think if you trace my family roots, I am somehow related to that pink rabbit, you know the engerizer bunny. I have been in almost constant motion for days now. I am exhausted phyically but can't get my brain to slow down long enough for some good sleep.

I was able to visit my grandma today. This has got to be one of the saddest days I've had with her. NO she is not back ICU or even talking about dying,because she seems to be improving but mentally my Grandma is not doing good. She has all the signs of dementia. She was pretty severe today, really babbling about things that made absolutely no sense. I told her that I had talked to my husband and she wanted to know where he was. When was he coming back. When i told her she said she missed him, and wanted him to make her laugh. She likes laughing she said.

. She had asked me to pick up some cds she dropped and which i did, I sorted them and threw away the broken cases, promosing to bring her new cases. Then 15 minutes later she asked me to pick up the cds again. I told her that I had picked them up and she fussed at me to get down and look on the floor cause she had dropped more. There was nothing there, and i had to prove to her i had already picked them up. At one point i was telling her about something in the room and she told me that it happened when they moved her to that room yesterday. I had to tell her it was thursday and the staff had moved her to the room on monday. She was very agiatated fussing at me and saying no they did not move her on monday.. they only took her out of the room to pick out an albumn. I asked her what albumn. She said that when she was took out the room yesterday, before the staff moved her, she had to pick out a pretty song for the red button she had to push. ??? She said that she had to pick out a song for the red button to page the nurses cause it plays music when you push it, and even after she picked it out that the staff would not play it-so she was just going to play her music as much as she could. Ok there is no music when you push that red button.

I had to leave the room at one point cause I could not handle seeing her like this. I came back in to talk to her and she had fallen asleep. I know that sleeping during the day is a sign that her co2 levels are up, so i tried to wake her up. It took me 10-15 minutes to get her aroused enough to even sit up. Finally i got her to eat. She had not had anything this morning cause she dumped her breakfast tray on her, and refused to eat anything when the nurse asked her if she needed more. This was all before we got there at 11.
So we helped her and fed her lunch. She is shaking so bad she can't even hold a drink or a spoon.

Then i was telling granny all about how well J is doing here. She started ranting bout how she was mad at him cause when she was sick, very sick he would not put on pajamas and come see her. ?????????????????????? I asked her if she meant when he was living with Jessica. She said no when she bought him some musical thing and he banged on it, and would not come visit her. tonight Jeremy went to visit her with Uncle B, and K. Granny kept calling him Stevie!!!

Granny told us the same story about 5 times and swore each time it was the first time. I quit arguing with her and learned to just listen like it was the first time.

I could not really talk to her about anything because the moment she started talking she was not making sense. She had called a cousin to clean off a bed but then told me she did not remember calling her. Granny was convinced Uncle J is coming in 2 days which to her would be friday. Well tomorrow is friday.
This is unbearable. She was so upset with the nurses cause they were being mean to her, she says. She said she would page them and they were lazy and would wait 30 minutes before coming in her room and sometimes 2 hours. She does not always know what time it is, and she thought she had paged the nurse once while we were there, when in fact she never pushed the "music button" She even called the administration to fuss at them about the nurses. I don't know what to think about all this. I called my mom for advice, and i did talk to her doctor. Nothing to be said there. My mom came back into town tonight to be with her and talk with the doctors.

I am so sad at all this, that i am without much words other than retelling this story. My Grandmother is an itelligent person, and to see her not know the time of day, day of the week, or to not even make much sense when you visit with her, is just plain hard.